Getting Started

I've been going through things; kind of a quarter-life crisis as I have been referring to it. Nothing serious, just trying to get everything on track. After talking with a close friend, it was suggested to start a blog. A blog .. I had no idea really what this meant and what I would do with it. What would I write? What would I say? Who would even read what I wrote? I decided against it at the time, and moved on from the idea. I can admit though, that the thought was almost always there.

Well, the other night I was having trouble sleeping. It was 3 in the morning, and I was wide awake, my mind racing with every possible thing you could think of, and then some! I started thinking of how I would write out what was racing through my head - I should add that I have taken on a new interest with writing, and have actually been working on my own story (we'll see what comes of it) -, and decided to write it out, and go from there. This is what came of it:



It's 3am. I'm wide awake, yet my eyes are struggling to remain open. Every time I let them close, my mind starts racing out of control. I force them back open and look around my room. I notice the closet doors are open, lit up from the light illuminating from the baby monitor. The monitor that probably doesn't need to be used anymore, as my baby will be three in only a few more months. But I like the comfort of hearing her moving in bed, and the deep breathing that sometimes accompanies her sleep. I'm distracted by this thought as I hear a train sounds its warning as it passes through the town. The noise only last a few minutes and I am alone again with my thoughts. It's mostly worry, I think. Uncertainty. I think about my career and what it will be. I did go to college, but I highly doubt that I will ever use my schooling. The knowledge gained, however, will be used for a lifetime. I have a new career path in mind, now it's just time to do it. Or find a way to do it.

Another train of thought: Wedding planning. I think of dresses I life for me, and then dresses for bridesmaids. I think of who my bridesmaids are going to be. I have them in mind, but can't make that final decision, as I may need an additional one to match my fiances number. We'll see. I never thought I would think much about my wedding, but now I can't stop. Colors, flowers, the cake, centerpieces. All of these ideas race through my head, and I can't slow it down. Even knowing that the wedding isn't until next year, I just don't want to fall behind.

My thoughts are sidetracked again as I somehow get a song stuck in my head from 'Three Men and a Baby'. The song the guys sing to the baby to get her to go back to sleep. "Goodnight sweetheart, well it's time to go ....". The line "Well It's 3 o'clock in the morning" makes me wonder if that's why this song suddenly got stuck in my head since it's been years since I've seen this film.



My erratic thinking continued from there focusing more on my daughter and her upcoming birthday, to some family coming to visit this weekend. I eventually fell back asleep, although it was after a while. When I woke in the morning it was decided that writing a blog may be for me after all.

I still don't know what I will say and write, or if anyone will even read this, but I also decided that it doesn't really matter. Sometimes I have things to say and I think this will be a great way to say it and figure it out.