A Man of Words and Not Deeds

I've come across this 'nursery rhyme', and I had to share...

A Man of Words and Not Deeds

A man of words and not of deeds

Is like a garden full of weeds

And when the weeds begin to grow

It's like a garden full of snow

And when the snow begins to fall

It's like a bird upon the wall

And when the bird away does fly

It's like an eagle in the sky

And when the sky begins to roar

It's like a lion at the door

And when the door begins to crack

It's like a stick across your back

And when your back begins to smart

It's like a penknife in your heart

And when your heart begins to bleed

You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed

- Found in a History of Nursery Rhymes (1899) by Percy B. Green

It's a guy thing...or is it?

My sister and I were just having a conversation, and I had to share.

She just bought the new Twilight movie, Eclipse, and her boyfriend will not watch it with her. Of course, I had to question why. The reason...they sparkle. Seriously. She thinks it's more, but that's all that he will admit to.

I have my own opinions.

In my mind, guys get intimidated by good looking guys (my sister laughed at this). But really, say you say something like "Jake Gyllenhaal is hot". I bet the guy says something like "he's an awful actor" or "he's gay" or something like that. (at least in my experience ;) ) To me...its a guy thing.

And, in relation to the movie, there is CRAZY female hype about twilight, right? Most guys will either hate it as a result or deny they like it. Again .. a guy thing. With me, my fiance watched Twilight with me, as neither of us knew what it was really about at the time, and he couldn't care less for it. I tell him they get better as they go ... and I really believe this. But I think the first one lacked, a lot, and he is going to need this serious push to watch either of the other movies in the series.

Now, in saying all of this, I do realize that girls are just as bad. Take Megan Fox for example. Guys love her. She's hot. But girls hate her. It's almost that jealousy level again. That's jealousy that just doesn't quite make sense. It's just enough to make a person just that little bit insecure

At least, this is how I look at it.

I think my sister got a laugh out of the whole thing, and that's what I was aiming for.

But it makes you think. It's a guy thing...or is it?

THE Dress

After a disappointing trip into the city yesterday to and going to the bridal expo, where they DIDN'T sell dresses, I was quite upset. I had plans to go there, try on dresses and the "The One". Now, of course that didn't happen.

My sisters and I left the show thinking that we would go grab some lunch and then see what we could find for some lunch and then see what we could find for bridal shops at the mall.

Lucky for us, we drove by a bridal store on our way to eat.

The stockroom was full of choices and we pulled and pulled dresses until we had enough. Coming out, my sister-in-law saw a CUTE dress, and I thought 'why not'. It was different, but could be exactly what I needed.

I tried this dress on third, and literally exploded out of the change room. It was perfect. After twirling in it for, God only knows how long, it was decided that one more dress should be tried on. I tried, I contemplated, I got sad and teary over the idea of NOT getting that other dress, and it was decided.

I put dress number 3 back on, and knew.

It's definitely not traditional, and my fiance knows that much. I think he was a little worried, but we did tell him that it was white, and its not some crazy out there dress. It's just a little not like you'd expect. That being said, we are having a beach wedding, and the dress is DEFINITELY me!

only 9 more months!

New Story

I want to write a new story, although I am still working on my first one.

I want to write of hate and hurt and pain and death. I want to write about discomforts and anxieties and insecurities. I want it to be painful, but true.

And I want to work in love. But not your classic "Boy-Meets-Girl" love story. Love often helps you get through those tough times. And it's not always your boy/girl love but its that sibling love, friend love and love that grows between two or more strangers.

Now to write the story.

Slacking

Wow. Two full months since my last post. Although, my reason for posting is anything but exciting. I suppose real life has taken over, leaving my writing interests on the back burner. I don't know why though. A few months ago all I could think about was writing, and now I'm at a stand still. What should I write about?? What would be interesting?? The things that go on in my head are rarely all that interesting, at least to me. I still find myself awake at night with random trains of thought taking over my ability to fall asleep, but these thoughts don't get me further in anything, really.

I suppose I have decided some things though. Like how I am going to learn the guitar. A new skill that I can play with and practice freely in my home. Something that I hope that I am able to have fun with and really enjoy.

Other things are physical changes to me. Not what you're thinking probably. I had my lip pierced before my daughter was born, and took it out the day she was born. I've missed it since, and I am planning to get it re-pierced. And soon. Next, is the tattoo I want. I know what I want and where its going, but it's just a matter of doing it. And since I'm a procrastinator, I'm sure it'll be a while. I'm also thinking of a second tatt, and where I want it, but realistically, I don't know if that one will ever happen. It's a play on one that I've been thinking about for many years, but I just decided on where I'd like it, and that's the part that I'm unsure of.

Well, here's to no more procrastinating, and getting my ass back on the writing wagon!

Writing

My writing may have hit a new obsession. I find that when I'm not writing, I'm reading, and when I'm not reading I'm thinking about reading or writing or a combination of the two.
I went into Chapters one day and, oddly, I felt like I was suppose to be there. Like I belonged there. Silly, I know.
Another night I was writing about nightmares, and woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare. One that was unrelated to my story, but it was a bad dream nonetheless. It's always something when like, real or not, works its way into your dreams.
I've been writing up a storm, and have so much more to go. I can barely wait to be able to write 'The End' on my story and have a finished project. Something complete. Something I did.

The acting itch

Sometimes I think about how great it would be to be an actor. This is more recent thinking really. I was never interested in acting in high school. In fact I've never been in any sort of play. Ever. And I really doubt there is any credible acting bone in my body, but I still think about it. I watch movies, and see all these different shows and think, "I could have done that. I could have portrayed that role." And I feel confident when I feel this way.

I don't know why this want to do this has come on so strongly lately. Maybe I'm inspired by the books I read, and maybe even by my own writing. I guess sometimes I just want to be more. To do more. And maybe this is a way to achieve that.

Things I want to do

I've been thinking more and more about the stuff I want to do in life. Just random things, but here's what I've come up with so far.

1. Learn to play Claire de Lune on Piano - I guess I need to learn the piano first.
2. Learn to play the guitar - I'm working on it :)
3. Go cliff jumping
4. Write a novel - working on it too
5. learn to snowboard
6. Try Surfing
7. Get a tattoo
8. Get Married
9. Run a marathon
10. Learn a second language - Working on this one too!!
11. Go white water rafting
12. Travel to England,  France,  Italy, Australia,  Well, basically travel
13. Learn Pachebels Canon in D
14. Go to Vegas for Halloween  edit: since going to Vegas for my husbands 30th, I'm no longer overly interested in a Halloween trip. I'm happy enough just doing the one time trip.
15. Travel Canada
16. Travel the USA
17. Go on a Safari
18. Keep Reading
19. Go to a movie premiere edit: went to a locally made indy film premiere in which I was a zombie in. Nothing big like Hollywood which I would still love to do, but a premiere is a premiere ;)
20. Make a difference in someone's life
21. Go to the Olympics
22. Be a good mom - this will be life long
23. Be Happy - and this one will be too
24. Go see a taping of Craig Ferguson edit: since he is no longer filming his late night show, I will happily mark this off seeing as how I've attended his comedy show once and going again this winter.
25. Paddleboard
26. Hike the East Coast Trails
27. Complete a Spartan Race


I'm sure this list will only grow, and I hope it does.

The colored ones are completed

Flying By

I wake up today, and I'm 26. Where have the last 26 years gone? It seems to have flown right by. I remember as a kid waiting for things, like Christmas and summer vacation, and the wait would take forever. Now, the wait doesn't really seem to be there. I'm sure it's just because my priorities have shifted, and my life doesn't revolve around those things.

I sometimes wonder how I ended up where I am now. I thought my life would be something much different. Go to college, work at a successful job, get married in my late twenties and then start a family. Most of this is happening, just out of order. I've done the college, started the family, and am planning a wedding, but the job thing just hasn't happened yet.

Knowing that things have happened so fast, I'm still happy knowing that I don't have much for regrets, and I have wonderful memories. I remember random things though. One long weekend we were camping and a friend decided that rather build a sandcastle, we would build a sand walrus. And that we did. I remember being young and spending endless time at the lake with my family. I remember graduating high school, and being so happy that it was done. I remember one of my best guy friends playing and singing a song to me over the phone and me being completely overwhelmed with emotion, to have him start dating a friend only days later. Needless to say, our friendship changed after that. Can that really have been 9 years ago already?? I remember the day I met my fiance. The first time, and the first real time a few years later. I remember finding out I was pregnant and being completely overwhelmed, but knew I would never have it any other way. I remember the day she was born and everything we went through to have, and keep, her in this world. And I remember almost every day since.

I find that time just goes too fast. I try to enjoy every second of it, and find that I don't do so bad at this. I look forward to every day ahead of me, and every year to come. I just wish it wouldn't go so quickly. Just to remember to 'stop and smell the flowers'. I guess here's to the next year being everything I want!!

Gatsby

Well, I'm reading The Great Gatsby again. What can I say, other than that I rather enjoy it. I read it for the first time a few months back. I didn't know much about it, but had heard of it through various shows on television, and maybe even a couple of movies. I knew that since I was going to the library weekly with my daughter and getting her books just as often, that maybe I should start getting books for myself, and expanding my reading list.

I read The Great Gatsby quickly. I was completely taken in by it, loving every second of it. I knew that I had to read it again, and that time has now come.

I haven't been sitting around not reading though. I have since read a multitude of books that I look forward to adding to my collection, which I am SLOWLY starting to build. I found plenty of interest in the love story in Wuthering Heights and couldn't pull myself away from Jane Eyre (in fact this one was borrowed twice, and read twice).

I had a love for reading when I was a little girl, and I am more than pleased that this love has returned. I am constantly finding myself searching for new books to read.

Greta - Movie Review

I just finished watching a movie called 'Greta', starring Hilary Duff. I expected it to be similar to the many other films she's been in, but it was hardly that. Her character focused on the hardships she was having as a 17 year old, and her deciding what to do with it all. Her mother sent her away to live with her grandparents for the summer - hardly what she would want to do with her time - so that she could be rid of her and build up her (3rd) marriage that sounded as though it was failing. One of the first things Greta told her grandparents was that she was planning to kill herself before she was 18, then proceeded to tell them all of the ways she could succeed. She followed this up with her form of a bucket list - her to do list before she ended her life. This shocked her grandparents ... and myself.

The movie got me thinking about the hardships that people have. Sure Greta complained a lot about random things that didn't really matter, but there was an underlying factor that came out as the movie went on. She felt the way she did for a reason, and a heavy reason at that. Some people go through tremendous downfalls and have problems that other people, including myself, couldn't even imagine, but they make it through it. I guess there is always a way to make it, you just have to be willing to see it. And you have to be able to help yourself before anyone else can.

Late Night TV

Yes, It's true, I'm well informed about all this late night drama. Not because I follow the drama, but because I am a big fan of the Tonight Show with Conan. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some Jay Leno too, but he just has a whole different edge to him I find.

So tonight I watch Conan, and find myself laughing as usual, and enjoying every minute of it. The laughter continued as Robin Williams decides to sing an Irish song. I'll be surprised if nbc ever invites him back to a talk show. haha.

Now it's time to watch some Craig Ferguson. I didn't start watching his show until a few months ago and now find myself wondering how I could have waited so long to find him. I laugh his entire monologue and through most of his interviews with his guests. I can not get enough of him.

At least I go to sleep after having a healthy dose of laughter :)

Getting Started

I've been going through things; kind of a quarter-life crisis as I have been referring to it. Nothing serious, just trying to get everything on track. After talking with a close friend, it was suggested to start a blog. A blog .. I had no idea really what this meant and what I would do with it. What would I write? What would I say? Who would even read what I wrote? I decided against it at the time, and moved on from the idea. I can admit though, that the thought was almost always there.

Well, the other night I was having trouble sleeping. It was 3 in the morning, and I was wide awake, my mind racing with every possible thing you could think of, and then some! I started thinking of how I would write out what was racing through my head - I should add that I have taken on a new interest with writing, and have actually been working on my own story (we'll see what comes of it) -, and decided to write it out, and go from there. This is what came of it:



It's 3am. I'm wide awake, yet my eyes are struggling to remain open. Every time I let them close, my mind starts racing out of control. I force them back open and look around my room. I notice the closet doors are open, lit up from the light illuminating from the baby monitor. The monitor that probably doesn't need to be used anymore, as my baby will be three in only a few more months. But I like the comfort of hearing her moving in bed, and the deep breathing that sometimes accompanies her sleep. I'm distracted by this thought as I hear a train sounds its warning as it passes through the town. The noise only last a few minutes and I am alone again with my thoughts. It's mostly worry, I think. Uncertainty. I think about my career and what it will be. I did go to college, but I highly doubt that I will ever use my schooling. The knowledge gained, however, will be used for a lifetime. I have a new career path in mind, now it's just time to do it. Or find a way to do it.

Another train of thought: Wedding planning. I think of dresses I life for me, and then dresses for bridesmaids. I think of who my bridesmaids are going to be. I have them in mind, but can't make that final decision, as I may need an additional one to match my fiances number. We'll see. I never thought I would think much about my wedding, but now I can't stop. Colors, flowers, the cake, centerpieces. All of these ideas race through my head, and I can't slow it down. Even knowing that the wedding isn't until next year, I just don't want to fall behind.

My thoughts are sidetracked again as I somehow get a song stuck in my head from 'Three Men and a Baby'. The song the guys sing to the baby to get her to go back to sleep. "Goodnight sweetheart, well it's time to go ....". The line "Well It's 3 o'clock in the morning" makes me wonder if that's why this song suddenly got stuck in my head since it's been years since I've seen this film.



My erratic thinking continued from there focusing more on my daughter and her upcoming birthday, to some family coming to visit this weekend. I eventually fell back asleep, although it was after a while. When I woke in the morning it was decided that writing a blog may be for me after all.

I still don't know what I will say and write, or if anyone will even read this, but I also decided that it doesn't really matter. Sometimes I have things to say and I think this will be a great way to say it and figure it out.