My Best Self

Let's talk about weight...it's awful. I hate the scale, and really try not to look at it. I should honestly just toss it out; or bury it away. I've gained a little weight since last summer. Not much by any means, but I'm short. Us short people notice that sort of thing...though I'm sure many people do. 

I want to be thinner. I want to be stronger. I want to be healthier. I want to look in the mirror and be happier with my reflection. I want to pull clothes on and not pick apart how they look. Most importantly, I want my children to grow up with healthy body images and not be critical of themselves. 

There's only one solution....

Get off my ass and do something about it, because no one is going to do it for me. 

I wanted to be at my prime when I turned 30. That's in a week. I've come to terms that that's not happening.   

I'm tired of always Starting Over and taking those dreaded Before pictures. I never want to take one of those before pictures ever again. 

Tonight I got off my ass. Tonight I did a workout. Tomorrow I will feel it, and I will remember why I feel it. And then I will workout again. And again. And again. Until it's a part of everyday life and I'm not doing it sporadically like I'm doing now and it doesn't seem like a chore when I would rather be relaxing once I get the kids tucked in at night. I need to look at it as a reward, because it's making me a better, stronger person and that's the best reward. 

So tomorrow, when I move a little slower or feel a twinge when I turn a certain way, I will smile, remember all of the reasons why, and put that workout gear back on. 

I'm going to be My Best Self. 

The 52 Hour Road Trip

I think if I could have a general superpower, if you want to call it that, I'd love to be able to teleport. 

We just finished a 52 hour road trip. And how exhausting it was. 1 night at my husbands parents, 1 night at my parents and then home today. 

I don't mind traveling. When we drive through the mountains when we go camping I absolutely love the scenery. It's beautiful. But driving on flat prairie land, yeah, that's not so exciting. 

That's where teleporting would be handy. Scoop up the kids, do the little voodoo-woohoo thing and BAM! you're at your destination. Not only that, it would enable us to get more time in visiting with the grandparents and less time trying to make the baby, who doesn't want to be sitting in the car seat, happy. And who doesn't want a happy baby? 

So if anyone out there has some insider scoop on the possible invention of teleportation, hook this mama up! Please ;) 

Becoming a Werewolf Mummy

What a day yesterday was. My dear friend Jamie, who is a makeup artist and more, decided to further educate herself in different types of makeup application. And I'm not talking pretty wedding or date night makeup, I'm talking horror movie makeup. If you've read my post the Not So Glamorous Life of a Movie Extra, you'll know what I'm getting at.

It's been a good 8 months since I was made up to be a zombie movie extra, so when Jamie said she needed a model, I rounded up my sister to watch the mini-me, and I volunteered! 

Upon arriving at Jamie's friends house, who was going to be teaching her some new skills, I listened in as they discussed the plans for the day. Wow, what a transformation it would be. 

We took pictures as we went so I could see the changes as they happened. This is me, hair pulled back, with obviously no makeup, no lotion, nothing.

And then it began. Partial altered masks, glue, latex, and extra little tricks were all applied to my face. And a blow dryer was used to set and dry it. Next ears were made, formed, and glue and latex and gunk were added to my ears. Yes, I'm totally using gunk as my descriptive word here.

Look at that for a werewolf!! 

But no, we couldn't be done there. Did I mention I was going to be a werewolf mummy? Bring on the gauze, more gauze, torn up sheets and more sheets. 

Jamie maneuvered and got the materials hopefully in a way that she was pleased with, and then we went and took some photos so she could add to her portfolio, and I could add to my list of memories. 

The makeup removal is the worst part of it all; in my opinion anyways. Pulling, tearing, me almost crying and laughing. Ripping like a band-aid was not a win. But slowly and surely, the makeup was removed and I started to look a little more like me again. 

The experience is great. I love being part of anything in which a crazy transformation can be seen. And to help a friend further her knowledge? Heck ya, count me in!! And although I kick my ass every time I sign up for the monster makeup, because it is uncomfortable to remove, I'm sure I'll do it again and again. 

Dear Creepers...

Let's be honest here; People are weird. I know, I know. Pot meet kettle. But really, more times than not, when I go out in public, I'll have someone stare at me. And I don't mean the quick glance as they walk by that many people do, I mean the full-blown stare at you stare. It gets to the point that it seriously makes me uncomfortable, and subsequently, self-conscious. I do have 2 children, so really, I could have almost anything on me at anytime.

I even went as far today as asking my husband and sisters if there was something wrong with me, or if I looked weird, and I just wasn't aware of it. Not that I expected any of them to say something negative about me, but the general feedback is that people are just weird.

I figure from now on, the creepers that stare will either get a smile or a funny face in return. Guess we will base it on my mood that day. But seriously people, don't stare. Just glance and smile and look away, or don't do anything at all. It honestly bothers people...It's creepy.

I Can, So I Will

"You're Never Too Old To Follow Your Dreams"

I absolutely love this quote. There's so much I want to do yet but often stop myself because of my age. I've been trying harder to remember that I'm not old. My age? I'll be 30 in a month. 30!! See, that's young! Or so I've been trying to convince myself. 

There is absolutely no reason why I can't finish my novel. I can finish, and I can publish it. Even if no one reads it; I'm doing it for me, and me alone. And I can even write another one after that. 

I can learn another language, or 2! It may be difficult, but I'm not too old.  

There is an endless list of things I want to accomplish and things I want to learn to do, and my age isn't going to be what stops me. I also want me children to know that there is no limit to what they can do. They can do anything they want. 

I've come up with my own quote. My own Motivation.

I can, so I will. 

Aging...Do I Have To?

I've been struggling with my age. Not the number per se, but more the idea of getting older. Aging, more so. It never used to be something that bothered me but more and more it's constantly on my mind. 

I don't want to get older. I don't want to age. I don't want to get to the point where my age affects my health and I'm on that downward spiral. I don't want to lose my parents as they get older. Or my friends. Or my friends' parents. I don't want any of it. 

I'm not delusional. I know that's not possible. We all age, some a little and some a lot. We all die. It's just a matter of how. Wow this has gotten depressing! 

I wonder, Would you rather go suddenly or know that your time is coming to end? If you choose to know, how much time is really enough? One day? One week? One year? Would it really affect your everyday life in what you do? I mean, say you always wanted to go sky diving. Would knowing that you definitely only have a certain amount of time left encourage you to go and jump out of that plane tomorrow? 

I don't think I would want to know. Personally, I think I'm better off not knowing. That being said, i still don't want to age and face all that. I hear lots of people say that their 30's and 40's were their best years. Am I looking forward to the best? Of course I am. But do I really need to get older to do that? Why can't the best years be right now? 

So I ask, What will it take to make you live your life now? To live it to the absolute fullest? 

You never know when you won't be able to do these things you want to do, so just do it. Do everything you want to do and don't make excuses. Sounds simple enough, now let's make it happen.

The Not-So-Glamorous Life of a Movie Extra

A while back I started to think about how cool it would be to be a movie star. Well, maybe not a star, but to be in a movie. Because let's be honest here, how many people really get to say they were in a movie? I think that's what got me thinking about it. Just being able to do something, and to be able to say "I did that".

Well, a month or two ago, a good friend text me saying that she was put in contact with someone who was planning on filming a movie here in Central Alberta. To say I was happy for her is an understatement. Knowing that she was able to branch out as a makeup artist and build her skill and do makeup for the cast of a movie, well that's pretty damn exciting if you ask me. I had joked with her that I should see if they were looking for extras. Little did I know, they were. And a few weeks after those initial text messages happened, emails were passed between me and the director, and I had myself a role as a zombie extra. In a movie. A real movie.

Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't one who thought that being on a film set would be glamorous and pampering and stress-free. However, it was a little different then I thought too.

The movie, Masked Maniac VS The Zombies, directed by CJ Hutchinson, is a low-budget film, which had everyone working as volunteers. I arrived on set at 830 in the morning and shortly after was "zombiefied". The makeup process itself was relatively quick and pain-free and soon I was looking like the walking dead. The director was busy shooting scenes all day, but it wasn't until mid-afternoon when the zombie extras were called into play. Which means, it was a lot of sitting outside, waiting, freezing one second, sweating the next - this is Alberta after all that's what our weather does - and once we got going there were lots of "let's try that again", and "lets take a quick break", and by the end of the day, I had one heck of a headache. The joys of what the sun does to me unfortunately. If you asked me Friday night when I finally got home, which was after 730, what I thought of the experience, I would have told you "never again", because of how I was feeling. Unfortunately, you would have be misinformed. Let me tell you why.

Being in this movie, is something that I feel that I was very lucky to be a part of. At any time I could have be asked to leave, or told that I didn't suit the type of movie, but that didn't happen. I was able to sway and groan and act full out zombie right alongside all the other extras. And it is something that I'll never forget.

Would I want to do another zombie film? Let's be honest now. The blood is so ridiculously sticky, and the makeup is a pain to get off, but I'd like to think that if the opportunity presented itself that I would jump on it. As for any other type of movie? Well, now that my headache is gone, I think I can say I would. Why not. I honestly don't see it happening any time soon, or ever, and I don't see myself as being a movie star in this life, or the next, but what have I got to lose. Get a new experience, meet some new people (although I seriously need to work on my shyness, as it is crazy hard to meet people when you choke up) and get to be a part of something, that in the end, is this fantastic piece of work that was dreamt up, wrote out, and actually made to make someones dreams of  being a filmmaker come true.

So although my day was anything but glamorous, I take away with me memories and an experience and something I will be able to tell my girls about and look back on for many years to come. It was completely worth it.