I've been struggling with my age. Not the number per se, but more the idea of getting older. Aging, more so. It never used to be something that bothered me but more and more it's constantly on my mind.
I don't want to get older. I don't want to age. I don't want to get to the point where my age affects my health and I'm on that downward spiral. I don't want to lose my parents as they get older. Or my friends. Or my friends' parents. I don't want any of it.
I'm not delusional. I know that's not possible. We all age, some a little and some a lot. We all die. It's just a matter of how. Wow this has gotten depressing!
I wonder, Would you rather go suddenly or know that your time is coming to end? If you choose to know, how much time is really enough? One day? One week? One year? Would it really affect your everyday life in what you do? I mean, say you always wanted to go sky diving. Would knowing that you definitely only have a certain amount of time left encourage you to go and jump out of that plane tomorrow?
I don't think I would want to know. Personally, I think I'm better off not knowing. That being said, i still don't want to age and face all that. I hear lots of people say that their 30's and 40's were their best years. Am I looking forward to the best? Of course I am. But do I really need to get older to do that? Why can't the best years be right now?
So I ask, What will it take to make you live your life now? To live it to the absolute fullest?
You never know when you won't be able to do these things you want to do, so just do it. Do everything you want to do and don't make excuses. Sounds simple enough, now let's make it happen.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Not-So-Glamorous Life of a Movie Extra
A while back I started to think about how cool it would be to be a movie star. Well, maybe not a star, but to be in a movie. Because let's be honest here, how many people really get to say they were in a movie? I think that's what got me thinking about it. Just being able to do something, and to be able to say "I did that".
Well, a month or two ago, a good friend text me saying that she was put in contact with someone who was planning on filming a movie here in Central Alberta. To say I was happy for her is an understatement. Knowing that she was able to branch out as a makeup artist and build her skill and do makeup for the cast of a movie, well that's pretty damn exciting if you ask me. I had joked with her that I should see if they were looking for extras. Little did I know, they were. And a few weeks after those initial text messages happened, emails were passed between me and the director, and I had myself a role as a zombie extra. In a movie. A real movie.
Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't one who thought that being on a film set would be glamorous and pampering and stress-free. However, it was a little different then I thought too.
The movie, Masked Maniac VS The Zombies, directed by CJ Hutchinson, is a low-budget film, which had everyone working as volunteers. I arrived on set at 830 in the morning and shortly after was "zombiefied". The makeup process itself was relatively quick and pain-free and soon I was looking like the walking dead. The director was busy shooting scenes all day, but it wasn't until mid-afternoon when the zombie extras were called into play. Which means, it was a lot of sitting outside, waiting, freezing one second, sweating the next - this is Alberta after all that's what our weather does - and once we got going there were lots of "let's try that again", and "lets take a quick break", and by the end of the day, I had one heck of a headache. The joys of what the sun does to me unfortunately. If you asked me Friday night when I finally got home, which was after 730, what I thought of the experience, I would have told you "never again", because of how I was feeling. Unfortunately, you would have be misinformed. Let me tell you why.
Being in this movie, is something that I feel that I was very lucky to be a part of. At any time I could have be asked to leave, or told that I didn't suit the type of movie, but that didn't happen. I was able to sway and groan and act full out zombie right alongside all the other extras. And it is something that I'll never forget.
Would I want to do another zombie film? Let's be honest now. The blood is so ridiculously sticky, and the makeup is a pain to get off, but I'd like to think that if the opportunity presented itself that I would jump on it. As for any other type of movie? Well, now that my headache is gone, I think I can say I would. Why not. I honestly don't see it happening any time soon, or ever, and I don't see myself as being a movie star in this life, or the next, but what have I got to lose. Get a new experience, meet some new people (although I seriously need to work on my shyness, as it is crazy hard to meet people when you choke up) and get to be a part of something, that in the end, is this fantastic piece of work that was dreamt up, wrote out, and actually made to make someones dreams of being a filmmaker come true.
So although my day was anything but glamorous, I take away with me memories and an experience and something I will be able to tell my girls about and look back on for many years to come. It was completely worth it.
Well, a month or two ago, a good friend text me saying that she was put in contact with someone who was planning on filming a movie here in Central Alberta. To say I was happy for her is an understatement. Knowing that she was able to branch out as a makeup artist and build her skill and do makeup for the cast of a movie, well that's pretty damn exciting if you ask me. I had joked with her that I should see if they were looking for extras. Little did I know, they were. And a few weeks after those initial text messages happened, emails were passed between me and the director, and I had myself a role as a zombie extra. In a movie. A real movie.
Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't one who thought that being on a film set would be glamorous and pampering and stress-free. However, it was a little different then I thought too.
The movie, Masked Maniac VS The Zombies, directed by CJ Hutchinson, is a low-budget film, which had everyone working as volunteers. I arrived on set at 830 in the morning and shortly after was "zombiefied". The makeup process itself was relatively quick and pain-free and soon I was looking like the walking dead. The director was busy shooting scenes all day, but it wasn't until mid-afternoon when the zombie extras were called into play. Which means, it was a lot of sitting outside, waiting, freezing one second, sweating the next - this is Alberta after all that's what our weather does - and once we got going there were lots of "let's try that again", and "lets take a quick break", and by the end of the day, I had one heck of a headache. The joys of what the sun does to me unfortunately. If you asked me Friday night when I finally got home, which was after 730, what I thought of the experience, I would have told you "never again", because of how I was feeling. Unfortunately, you would have be misinformed. Let me tell you why.
Being in this movie, is something that I feel that I was very lucky to be a part of. At any time I could have be asked to leave, or told that I didn't suit the type of movie, but that didn't happen. I was able to sway and groan and act full out zombie right alongside all the other extras. And it is something that I'll never forget.
Would I want to do another zombie film? Let's be honest now. The blood is so ridiculously sticky, and the makeup is a pain to get off, but I'd like to think that if the opportunity presented itself that I would jump on it. As for any other type of movie? Well, now that my headache is gone, I think I can say I would. Why not. I honestly don't see it happening any time soon, or ever, and I don't see myself as being a movie star in this life, or the next, but what have I got to lose. Get a new experience, meet some new people (although I seriously need to work on my shyness, as it is crazy hard to meet people when you choke up) and get to be a part of something, that in the end, is this fantastic piece of work that was dreamt up, wrote out, and actually made to make someones dreams of being a filmmaker come true.
So although my day was anything but glamorous, I take away with me memories and an experience and something I will be able to tell my girls about and look back on for many years to come. It was completely worth it.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Little Ol' Me
I thought a post about who I am might be fun to write. Just little details about the person that writes randomly on this page. Some are simple facts, some may be a little more complex.
1) I can't whistle. No, really, I can't. I can make this tiny squeal from time to time but really it's just air that comes out of my mouth.
2) I can say the alphabet backwards. Useless ability, but I can, and not too slowly either.
3) I'm married. We have been together for 10 years and married for 1.5 years. It seems like just yesterday we were teenagers starting to date and now we're married and parents and getting older. Which leads to number 4.
4) I am a mom to two wonderful girls. One is almost six the other 5 months. They keep me busy. Boy do they ever. And I know it'll just get busier and busier as they get older.
5) Because of those two girls, I'm tired. So so tired. My baby doesn't really like to nap during the day, so no sneaking in naps for myself. But I make it work. As a result, My house may not be perfect, but it's presentable when it needs to be.
6) I'm overprotective. I know it. I'm the mom who is scared for her child to climb things in case she falls and gets hurts. But she's a trooper and I know I need to back off some, but it's just too hard. At least I know she's safe.
7) I'm shy and this leads into the next few too. Once I become close with someone I am quite open but it's getting to that part that's the hardest.
8) I wish I had more friends. We moved here 6.5 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest. I have been a stay at home mom ever since. I have found that with no job and not going to school here or anything like that, it is really really hard to meet people. Throw in the shyness, and I spend most of my time with the girls (my husband often works away for a couple weeks at a time).
9) I often feel left out. I found that as soon as I announced that I was expecting this last time that I stopped getting invited anywhere which is sad really. And now with 2, I find it hard to go out without them and often people don't want kids around as they like to escape at some points too. But with a husband working and us having no sitter (again that whole overprotective thing and moving to a place where I knew no one) it leaves me home with just the kids all too often. *please don't take this as me complaining. I love my kids to pieces!!*
10) I've failed at something big in life. My husband tells me I didn't but I think I'll always feel this way. And that's all I'll say about that.
11) I'm scared to put myself out there. Fear of rejection, ridicule, failure. I just don't want to be judged in a negative way and I fear that's what will happen. I know that's not the way to live, but those thoughts are there. I don't believe that anyone wants to fail. That being said...
12) I want to be a published writer. A successful published writer would be better. A writer whose books get made into movies, successful movies, even better. But I'd start with just being published. A dream come true :)
13) I love to read, if #12 didn't give that away already. I use to read like mad, now I read whenever I have some spare time. I suppose I have my whole life to read and I know I will do just that.
14) I want to be fit. I'm working on it! When I can, I do what I can. A little at a time is what is working best for me.
15) Do we need something cheerful? Yellow. I love the color yellow. It's bright and happy. It just makes me smile :)
16) I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. It's a little harder now with a lip piercing but I can do it.
17) Yes, I have my lip pierced. I love it. And hardly ever notice it anymore. Sometimes I think about a second on the other side of my mouth but then realize 1 is probably more than enough.
18) I have tattoos. Love them. Want more. Will get more eventually. I try to put lots of thought into them. Don't want to be stuck with something I hate for life.
1) I can't whistle. No, really, I can't. I can make this tiny squeal from time to time but really it's just air that comes out of my mouth.
2) I can say the alphabet backwards. Useless ability, but I can, and not too slowly either.
3) I'm married. We have been together for 10 years and married for 1.5 years. It seems like just yesterday we were teenagers starting to date and now we're married and parents and getting older. Which leads to number 4.
4) I am a mom to two wonderful girls. One is almost six the other 5 months. They keep me busy. Boy do they ever. And I know it'll just get busier and busier as they get older.
5) Because of those two girls, I'm tired. So so tired. My baby doesn't really like to nap during the day, so no sneaking in naps for myself. But I make it work. As a result, My house may not be perfect, but it's presentable when it needs to be.
6) I'm overprotective. I know it. I'm the mom who is scared for her child to climb things in case she falls and gets hurts. But she's a trooper and I know I need to back off some, but it's just too hard. At least I know she's safe.
7) I'm shy and this leads into the next few too. Once I become close with someone I am quite open but it's getting to that part that's the hardest.
8) I wish I had more friends. We moved here 6.5 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest. I have been a stay at home mom ever since. I have found that with no job and not going to school here or anything like that, it is really really hard to meet people. Throw in the shyness, and I spend most of my time with the girls (my husband often works away for a couple weeks at a time).
9) I often feel left out. I found that as soon as I announced that I was expecting this last time that I stopped getting invited anywhere which is sad really. And now with 2, I find it hard to go out without them and often people don't want kids around as they like to escape at some points too. But with a husband working and us having no sitter (again that whole overprotective thing and moving to a place where I knew no one) it leaves me home with just the kids all too often. *please don't take this as me complaining. I love my kids to pieces!!*
10) I've failed at something big in life. My husband tells me I didn't but I think I'll always feel this way. And that's all I'll say about that.
11) I'm scared to put myself out there. Fear of rejection, ridicule, failure. I just don't want to be judged in a negative way and I fear that's what will happen. I know that's not the way to live, but those thoughts are there. I don't believe that anyone wants to fail. That being said...
12) I want to be a published writer. A successful published writer would be better. A writer whose books get made into movies, successful movies, even better. But I'd start with just being published. A dream come true :)
13) I love to read, if #12 didn't give that away already. I use to read like mad, now I read whenever I have some spare time. I suppose I have my whole life to read and I know I will do just that.
14) I want to be fit. I'm working on it! When I can, I do what I can. A little at a time is what is working best for me.
15) Do we need something cheerful? Yellow. I love the color yellow. It's bright and happy. It just makes me smile :)
16) I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. It's a little harder now with a lip piercing but I can do it.
17) Yes, I have my lip pierced. I love it. And hardly ever notice it anymore. Sometimes I think about a second on the other side of my mouth but then realize 1 is probably more than enough.
18) I have tattoos. Love them. Want more. Will get more eventually. I try to put lots of thought into them. Don't want to be stuck with something I hate for life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)